Good-byes, Seasons, Future... (and pictures!)

I'm still alive!

I haven't been updating this blog very much because, well, I'm not on any traveling adventures right now!

For those of you who do not already know...
I am home! (...and have been for a few weeks actually).

It was hard to leave India and my DTS family. We grew so close to each other during those 9 months. We lived together in community and practically did EVERYTHING together. Lectures, prayer, worship, creative projects, hanging out, adventures, outreach, traveling, and definitely a lot of inner personal ups and downs. We pretty much saw everything about each other (some more than others, of course). These people have been some of the best friends I have ever had. I never knew before that I could be so close to a group of people. Some of my best friends there have taught me so much... just by BEING. Being there, and being themselves. They have taught me the beauty of being vulnerable and transparent. That I am not the only one with the sort of stuff that I have inside of me. They taught me so much of what my Father in heaven thinks of me, that I have value, and that God can use me to do amazing things (as in; that He and I can do them together). They taught me this all (and more) just by their love.

Leaving those people was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Everyone came to say good-bye when the taxi came. I hugged them all and said farewells while trying to swallow back tears. Then they prayed for me. That was when I started to weep. While choking back tears, I said 'Good bye. I love you all so much,' and was off. I never get emotional about this sort of thing, but here I was sitting in the taxi with tears running down my face and the poor driver was probably like; 'What the heck is wrong with this crazy white girl??!!' Ha.

My crazy and beautiful and amazing and inspiring DTS family.

Don't worry, we have a normal side too. ;)

I am so thankful for so many things about that DTS.

It was an environment perfect for growth. An environment that was so easy to thrive in. It was so easy to rise up, to mature and step out into new and crazy things. It was a place with so much of the 'perfect love' that drives out all fear. Yes, I would stumble and fall, but there was always someone to come pick me up. Yes it was hard (very hard sometimes), but it was worth it. I felt like I didn't need to be afraid to try new things and step up to higher leveles creatively and in my relationship with God, because I knew that I would be loved no matter what. That is perfect love. It's in 1 John 4:18.

Now that I am away from that atmosphere, it's hard to know what to do. In fact I feel like instead of continuing to grow, I am starting to wither. But it doesn't need to be like that because it's not about where I go, or who I'm with.... God is still the same and is still consistent wherever I am. I need to look to Him as my source. My motivation for growth.

The verse He gave me at the beginning of our last quarter is perfect for this season:

"As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him." 1 John 2:27

Right now, I am learning to look to my Father for everything (...haha. Funny how this is ongoing lesson. But I guess not very surprising either).

I needed to let go of that season, and of that place, and of those people in order to embrace the next season that is in store for me.

There... far over... do you see it? A new season. Another adventure.

As for my 'Next Step'. To be honest, I am still figuring that all out. I have ideas, and I have dreams, but I feel like I need some more motivation and inspiration (ultimately: more closeness with God) to step forward in that.

Playing cello at grad. In a sari. :D

I want to study music (particularly cello) more seriously. I want to get really skilled and get into the secular music industry, bringing hope and love into this world. I desire to see change in this world for the better, and it just so happens that arts/music/media are pretty much the strongest influence today. I think it's easy to underestimate the power of the arts. I don't want to do that. I want to work with my Father and use my creative giftings and wield some of that influence. Yes, it's scary, but my desire to bring hope to people and to do it with God is so much greater. Some of the time. (haha)

Ya, I am fully aware that it is tough in the music industry, especially to make a solid living off of it, but if I do it with my Father (God), all things are possible. He has been so faithful in the past, why would He stop? I have learnt from my own life that whenever He is WITH me, there is always a way... but whenever I try to do everything on my own, pushing Him out of the picture, that is when things go wrong. So that's the thing I guess I'm afraid of. I know how susceptible I am to fall into thinking that I can do everything on my own. That I don't need God. Then I push Him away, and then everything flops.  

...All that said, I am ready to take on a new challenge. No, right now it may not involve eating rats and insects, traveling all over the place by myself, being stuck in a foreign country with no money and living with complete strangers... but it will have different kinds of adventure. The kind that seem somewhat more 'normal'. The ones that people don't think much of, thus are less impressed by you doing them. The kind that because of the fact that they seem 'easy', is in itself what makes them harder. 

Sometimes it will feel like climbing up a mountain with a jug of water , but that's OK!

Thank you to all of you have been following my journey, and for supporting me through prayers, encouragement, and finances. I don't know where I'd be without a network of support like you guys. :)

For those of you who are interested in following me in this next journey/stage/season, I'll be writing on my other blog called Life - Your Love Song. I'll be posting thoughts, songs, poems, videos... AWESOME stuff. 

Peace out!